I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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