Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
