Can Purell be used as lube?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Blood and glitter go together right?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He shit in the fireplace
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
