I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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