I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
