dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
bring money and cleavage
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
