Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
bring money and cleavage
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
