She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
