"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
