I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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