I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
another moral hangover. fuck.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
