East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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