i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
