i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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