my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
