Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
