The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
