i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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