You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize