no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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