who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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