im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just had sex on a roof
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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