32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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