and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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