I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
