so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
