I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
