I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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