I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
