i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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