dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
