i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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