I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
