I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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