I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Green mimosas i think yes
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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