we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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