I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
