I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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