Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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