I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
