conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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