Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
