i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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