Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
