May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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