my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
