We're facebook friends in real life
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
