Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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