My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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