dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
