you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
