Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
