all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
