wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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