Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We're too hungover to prance.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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