He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize