i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
