It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
