ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
