I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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