if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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