just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
