I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
love makes seman taste better
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
